why not be wronged?

Early on in my working days with the kids (the term "kids" is used loosely seeing as how most, if not all, of these kids have seen, done and experienced things in their lifetime that I haven't and probably won't) that I had been in relationship with I was consistently being done in, or wronged. In retrospect, I was naive. I think a very accurate description of how much I know about what is going on in the lives of 100% of the kids that I work with was put best by Ron recently when he said, "I have a vague notion". Ron was referring to himself, but really if we wanted to, this could be a t-shirt used for the staff at Rock Island.

We have learned how there are soooo many levels of relationship with each of our kids that we have to surpass in order to gain trust, honesty and openness about their lives. I'm no "relationship expert", but in alot of ways it's just like any other relationship. It takes alot of time, effort and the willingness to let yourself be vulnerable. By vulnerable I mean that you have to be willing to give these kids a chance they otherwise wouldn't have and often times, as we have learned, some are grateful and make the most of the opportunity, while others have taken advantage of our graciousness. The vulnerability comes into play when you invest so much of your energy and effort, you make special arrangements and exceptions and you are always going the extra mile to make sure they have what they need/want. This is where we have been both disappointed and frustrated with some of our kids. It's a risk. Each kid is different, but more times than not, it's a risk.

Here's the way that I have come to look at it. What's the risk? The risk is that after investing all of the things listed above. this is what happens: the kid bails out, the kid really just wanted to get in good with us to steal some video systems from us, the kid isn't really interested in the whole "Jesus" thing he really just wants to holla at the cute girl that is interested in Jesus, the kid just uses us so he can check his myspace and email on a consistent basis, the kid really just wants us to help him with his homework, the kid just comes to eat. Each of these scenarios, they happen or have happened to us. Some of these examples aren't all that bad. A sin is a sin, right? But let's be honest, I would rather a kid come every day to Rock Island with the intention of using us for our internet access, rather then coming with the intention of stealing our XBox-360. In case you didn't know, that's our whole marketing scheme at Rock Island. The internet, the food, the music, the video games, the big screen t.v., the help with homework, that's all part of creating something that appeals to the kids in order to let them know why we are REALLY there. We aren't really trying to compete with Celebration Station or Incredible Pizza or trying to turn over a big time profit, don't be confused.

I haven't been in the game long enough to know how effective the youth ministry that Ron, Chandy and I are doing will be or is. What I do know is that just in the short time that I have been working there have been several different individuals that have wronged us and/or taken advantage of our willingness to help them. So what's the big deal? I think it is only human instinct that when you are wronged or taken advantage of there are a couple different responses. I feel like, "Well, he had his chance. Good luck finding help later on when you need it", or, "Ok, he got me that time, so what I can do now to get him back or get even." Not only that, but it makes you hesitant to want to help others in the future. You start to question or second guess people when they say that they need help, as to whether or not you are going to help them. Such is the case with a kid that we have recently come into relationship with at Rock Island.

The three of us agree that this particular individual has just about the exact makeup of one that is going to use us or wrong us in one form or another. After several small talks and discussions, here's my viewpoint.

"Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated" - 1 Corinthians 6:7

"For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God... But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps." - 1 Peter 2:19-21

Yes, I realize that these scriptures need to be used within context and that when written they were not referring to inner-city youth missionaries dealing with street-running, gang, tough, don't talk about my momma kids. Another thing I know is that Christ lived the ultimate example of being wronged by people when He willingly died on the cross for each one of our sins. With that being said, why not willingly risk the chance of being wronged by one of these kids with the reward being so much greater then the risk. Ultimately, here's the two different results of the risk we take by investing in each of these kids; either they wrong us, use us and abuse us, or they come to know Christ.

I don't know about you, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.