Turns out I don't blog as frequently as the two others that I work with. If we were to create totem-pole of how often we blogged I would definitely be at the bottom, with Chandy at the top, and Ron somewhere in between. I know what my problem is. My problem is that when I blog, I beast blog. I have trouble blogging about everyday instances. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I am proud of this fact. I wish I had the ability or motivation to blog the instant I had an idea/thought, but, as my bloging past shows, I dont. In fact, I really just want to be more like Chandy. Chandy is my blogging idol. Not to be confused with American Idol or Baal from the Bible, but blogging idol.
Really, I could blog about something from work everyday. Whether it's a baptism of an eighty-two year old man, a local drug-dealer breaking down in tears after talking and praying with one of the volunteers in the prayer room, two of our kids getting in a fist fight on the steps of Rock Island, or me recognizing yet another way of how unbelievably blessed and spoiled I am, there is always something I could blog about.
Instead of blogging about some in depth epiphany I had I plan on talking about something a little more simple. In my last blog I talked about how the kids down here have experienced so much in their lives in such a short time. Not just that they have experienced so much, but the things they have experienced are so intense and raw. For instance, one of our kids ar Rock Island goes home everynight to his grandmother smoking crack. He's 12. Let's do a time warp and bring to light the issues of my 12 year old days......"Oh shoot, Sally just caught me staring at her during lunch. She probably thinks I'm a total loser now. She's so cute" or maybe, "Man, I wonder how the ninja turtles are going to escape the clutches of Bee-Bop and RockSteady". If it's not the home life, it's something else. It's having to fight, phsically fight, local kids in order to gain some respect or pride. Almost to build up resume so that others know you mean business. Sure, you are going to lose alot of fights, but at least they know they can't just walk over you. Meanwhile you are just hoping that no one brings anything other than their fists to the fight. If not fighting then maybe it's the fact that since the day you were of employable, working age you have been pulling ridiculous hours at work after school in order to support your brother, sister and mother.
What I have learned during my time with these kids is that because of their circumstances, because of their lifestyle, because of their environment, these kids don't have time to be kids.
Tuesday night i experienced a little joy. Tuesday night we went to the Hornets basketball game. Aside from the chain-prayer(read Chandy's blog for more on that), seeing those kids BE KIDS was easily my absolute favorite experience of the week, if not month. Yeah, we were sitting in section 303, 5 rows from the top. That's us. You would have thought we were sitting in Chris Paul's seat on the bench the way the kids acted. We had water-tattoos on faces, balloon hats, those really annoying thunder-stick thingy's that are really loud and hurt when you get hit the groin with, and alot of fun. It's almost like for just a couple hours they were able to forget about the things I talked about earlier, like going home to a drug-infested house, and be kids. In pure innocence. Just have fun, like kids are supposed to. It was pretty awesome. Regardless of the fact that half of our kids couldn't name 2 players on the Hornets roster, those kids had a blast.
So there it is, my once every 2 week blog update. But for real, I'm going to start making more short, quick blogs. Even if it is really hard for me to do those.
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
why not be wronged?
Early on in my working days with the kids (the term "kids" is used loosely seeing as how most, if not all, of these kids have seen, done and experienced things in their lifetime that I haven't and probably won't) that I had been in relationship with I was consistently being done in, or wronged. In retrospect, I was naive. I think a very accurate description of how much I know about what is going on in the lives of 100% of the kids that I work with was put best by Ron recently when he said, "I have a vague notion". Ron was referring to himself, but really if we wanted to, this could be a t-shirt used for the staff at Rock Island.
We have learned how there are soooo many levels of relationship with each of our kids that we have to surpass in order to gain trust, honesty and openness about their lives. I'm no "relationship expert", but in alot of ways it's just like any other relationship. It takes alot of time, effort and the willingness to let yourself be vulnerable. By vulnerable I mean that you have to be willing to give these kids a chance they otherwise wouldn't have and often times, as we have learned, some are grateful and make the most of the opportunity, while others have taken advantage of our graciousness. The vulnerability comes into play when you invest so much of your energy and effort, you make special arrangements and exceptions and you are always going the extra mile to make sure they have what they need/want. This is where we have been both disappointed and frustrated with some of our kids. It's a risk. Each kid is different, but more times than not, it's a risk.
Here's the way that I have come to look at it. What's the risk? The risk is that after investing all of the things listed above. this is what happens: the kid bails out, the kid really just wanted to get in good with us to steal some video systems from us, the kid isn't really interested in the whole "Jesus" thing he really just wants to holla at the cute girl that is interested in Jesus, the kid just uses us so he can check his myspace and email on a consistent basis, the kid really just wants us to help him with his homework, the kid just comes to eat. Each of these scenarios, they happen or have happened to us. Some of these examples aren't all that bad. A sin is a sin, right? But let's be honest, I would rather a kid come every day to Rock Island with the intention of using us for our internet access, rather then coming with the intention of stealing our XBox-360. In case you didn't know, that's our whole marketing scheme at Rock Island. The internet, the food, the music, the video games, the big screen t.v., the help with homework, that's all part of creating something that appeals to the kids in order to let them know why we are REALLY there. We aren't really trying to compete with Celebration Station or Incredible Pizza or trying to turn over a big time profit, don't be confused.
I haven't been in the game long enough to know how effective the youth ministry that Ron, Chandy and I are doing will be or is. What I do know is that just in the short time that I have been working there have been several different individuals that have wronged us and/or taken advantage of our willingness to help them. So what's the big deal? I think it is only human instinct that when you are wronged or taken advantage of there are a couple different responses. I feel like, "Well, he had his chance. Good luck finding help later on when you need it", or, "Ok, he got me that time, so what I can do now to get him back or get even." Not only that, but it makes you hesitant to want to help others in the future. You start to question or second guess people when they say that they need help, as to whether or not you are going to help them. Such is the case with a kid that we have recently come into relationship with at Rock Island.
The three of us agree that this particular individual has just about the exact makeup of one that is going to use us or wrong us in one form or another. After several small talks and discussions, here's my viewpoint.
"Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated" - 1 Corinthians 6:7
"For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God... But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps." - 1 Peter 2:19-21
Yes, I realize that these scriptures need to be used within context and that when written they were not referring to inner-city youth missionaries dealing with street-running, gang, tough, don't talk about my momma kids. Another thing I know is that Christ lived the ultimate example of being wronged by people when He willingly died on the cross for each one of our sins. With that being said, why not willingly risk the chance of being wronged by one of these kids with the reward being so much greater then the risk. Ultimately, here's the two different results of the risk we take by investing in each of these kids; either they wrong us, use us and abuse us, or they come to know Christ.
I don't know about you, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.
We have learned how there are soooo many levels of relationship with each of our kids that we have to surpass in order to gain trust, honesty and openness about their lives. I'm no "relationship expert", but in alot of ways it's just like any other relationship. It takes alot of time, effort and the willingness to let yourself be vulnerable. By vulnerable I mean that you have to be willing to give these kids a chance they otherwise wouldn't have and often times, as we have learned, some are grateful and make the most of the opportunity, while others have taken advantage of our graciousness. The vulnerability comes into play when you invest so much of your energy and effort, you make special arrangements and exceptions and you are always going the extra mile to make sure they have what they need/want. This is where we have been both disappointed and frustrated with some of our kids. It's a risk. Each kid is different, but more times than not, it's a risk.
Here's the way that I have come to look at it. What's the risk? The risk is that after investing all of the things listed above. this is what happens: the kid bails out, the kid really just wanted to get in good with us to steal some video systems from us, the kid isn't really interested in the whole "Jesus" thing he really just wants to holla at the cute girl that is interested in Jesus, the kid just uses us so he can check his myspace and email on a consistent basis, the kid really just wants us to help him with his homework, the kid just comes to eat. Each of these scenarios, they happen or have happened to us. Some of these examples aren't all that bad. A sin is a sin, right? But let's be honest, I would rather a kid come every day to Rock Island with the intention of using us for our internet access, rather then coming with the intention of stealing our XBox-360. In case you didn't know, that's our whole marketing scheme at Rock Island. The internet, the food, the music, the video games, the big screen t.v., the help with homework, that's all part of creating something that appeals to the kids in order to let them know why we are REALLY there. We aren't really trying to compete with Celebration Station or Incredible Pizza or trying to turn over a big time profit, don't be confused.
I haven't been in the game long enough to know how effective the youth ministry that Ron, Chandy and I are doing will be or is. What I do know is that just in the short time that I have been working there have been several different individuals that have wronged us and/or taken advantage of our willingness to help them. So what's the big deal? I think it is only human instinct that when you are wronged or taken advantage of there are a couple different responses. I feel like, "Well, he had his chance. Good luck finding help later on when you need it", or, "Ok, he got me that time, so what I can do now to get him back or get even." Not only that, but it makes you hesitant to want to help others in the future. You start to question or second guess people when they say that they need help, as to whether or not you are going to help them. Such is the case with a kid that we have recently come into relationship with at Rock Island.
The three of us agree that this particular individual has just about the exact makeup of one that is going to use us or wrong us in one form or another. After several small talks and discussions, here's my viewpoint.
"Why not rather be wronged? Why not rather be cheated" - 1 Corinthians 6:7
"For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God... But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God. To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in His steps." - 1 Peter 2:19-21
Yes, I realize that these scriptures need to be used within context and that when written they were not referring to inner-city youth missionaries dealing with street-running, gang, tough, don't talk about my momma kids. Another thing I know is that Christ lived the ultimate example of being wronged by people when He willingly died on the cross for each one of our sins. With that being said, why not willingly risk the chance of being wronged by one of these kids with the reward being so much greater then the risk. Ultimately, here's the two different results of the risk we take by investing in each of these kids; either they wrong us, use us and abuse us, or they come to know Christ.
I don't know about you, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.
Sunday, March 4, 2007
ask, seek, knock
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
Matthew 7:7-8
Wow, how true these words really are.
I have worked at Cross and Crown the past 4 summers but have only been working full-time since August. During the time since August I have been confronted with a new responsibility/challenge. This challenge came in the form of collecting an appropriate amount of funds to support the plans that we (Ron, Chandy and myself) have for our youth (fyi, just for the record, each one of us do this). Some of these plans are taking place now, while others are to take place in the future (such as Spring Break and summer).
Like most, I am hesitant to ask for help. Honestly, who wants to ask for help? It's a tough situation. It's often uncomfortable, for both parties involved. To me, it almost seems rude. I mean, alot of times I need help in other areas of my personal life but I don't want to bother others with my problems. Everyone has enough going on as it is, right?
So, back to my new responsibility, fundraising. My unfaithful, humanly mind begins to think, "How can I get around actually having to ask people for help, but still raise the support?" Hmmmm...Interesting concept, Luke. Honestly, how ridiculous. Because of my own insecurity and desire to not "interrupt others lives" or "have myself or someone else feel uncomfortable", I am missing the point altogether. Rather than me trying to assume 100% of the responsibility and try to organize a flawless plan to raise support, why not let God work? I feel like alot of times when situations seem unrealistic or unreachable I put God up on a shelf. I act like it is just too much. It's almost like I'm scared to give it to God because what if things don't turn out like I wanted them to? Does that mean God failed? Do I really want to test God? Good grief, Luke.
Then comes in a little bit of faith. Doesn't God address a similar situation in Malachi chapter 3 when He says, "...Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not through open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough to store it..."(Malachi 3:10). So here's my answer, this is what I felt God was leading/telling me to do. "Present your needs to the people and watch me work". So I did. Without further rambling let me say this, each one of our kids that wants to go to camp, will go to camp.
Because of several individual donors, along with some small groups, each one of our kids now has been blessed with the chance to go to camp. Also, because there was such a large response/outpouring of donations we are going to be able to use a little bit of that money in order to fund some plans that we have for our kids during Spring Break. So, thank you to each one of our contributors who felt called to donate to the cause. Not to say that this will be the last time one of us has to raise some moolah for one reason or another; but this is to say that God has everything in control and all He wants is us to allow Him to work in our lives.
In closing, I know from past experience how it is easy to read or hear a story like the one I just told you and to be like, "Wow, that's really cool. God is working in such great ways". Don't get me wrong, I still am like that. But, what I don't want you to do is read this and think this, and that be it. I challenge you to do the same as I did. Ask God. Seek God. Knock at His door. See if He wont open the floodgates in your life.
Matthew 7:7-8
Wow, how true these words really are.
I have worked at Cross and Crown the past 4 summers but have only been working full-time since August. During the time since August I have been confronted with a new responsibility/challenge. This challenge came in the form of collecting an appropriate amount of funds to support the plans that we (Ron, Chandy and myself) have for our youth (fyi, just for the record, each one of us do this). Some of these plans are taking place now, while others are to take place in the future (such as Spring Break and summer).
Like most, I am hesitant to ask for help. Honestly, who wants to ask for help? It's a tough situation. It's often uncomfortable, for both parties involved. To me, it almost seems rude. I mean, alot of times I need help in other areas of my personal life but I don't want to bother others with my problems. Everyone has enough going on as it is, right?
So, back to my new responsibility, fundraising. My unfaithful, humanly mind begins to think, "How can I get around actually having to ask people for help, but still raise the support?" Hmmmm...Interesting concept, Luke. Honestly, how ridiculous. Because of my own insecurity and desire to not "interrupt others lives" or "have myself or someone else feel uncomfortable", I am missing the point altogether. Rather than me trying to assume 100% of the responsibility and try to organize a flawless plan to raise support, why not let God work? I feel like alot of times when situations seem unrealistic or unreachable I put God up on a shelf. I act like it is just too much. It's almost like I'm scared to give it to God because what if things don't turn out like I wanted them to? Does that mean God failed? Do I really want to test God? Good grief, Luke.
Then comes in a little bit of faith. Doesn't God address a similar situation in Malachi chapter 3 when He says, "...Test me in this," says the Lord Almighty, "and see if I will not through open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that you will not have room enough to store it..."(Malachi 3:10). So here's my answer, this is what I felt God was leading/telling me to do. "Present your needs to the people and watch me work". So I did. Without further rambling let me say this, each one of our kids that wants to go to camp, will go to camp.
Because of several individual donors, along with some small groups, each one of our kids now has been blessed with the chance to go to camp. Also, because there was such a large response/outpouring of donations we are going to be able to use a little bit of that money in order to fund some plans that we have for our kids during Spring Break. So, thank you to each one of our contributors who felt called to donate to the cause. Not to say that this will be the last time one of us has to raise some moolah for one reason or another; but this is to say that God has everything in control and all He wants is us to allow Him to work in our lives.
In closing, I know from past experience how it is easy to read or hear a story like the one I just told you and to be like, "Wow, that's really cool. God is working in such great ways". Don't get me wrong, I still am like that. But, what I don't want you to do is read this and think this, and that be it. I challenge you to do the same as I did. Ask God. Seek God. Knock at His door. See if He wont open the floodgates in your life.
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