a hope for the future

A young man named "Brian" has been hanging out with us at Cross and Crown as of late.  Brian is younger then most of the men we see in his situation.  Most of the men that live a life similar to Brian's, or that we are in relationship with, tend to be in their 40's and 50's.  Brian is 23.

Personally, this is the first time I have been in relationship with someone, other than a jr. high or high school student, that has come seeking guidance, help and direction and has been younger than myself.  This means two things:  I am getting old (currently 26) and Brian is way too young to be in the situation that he is in.

I say that Brian is too young to be in the situation that he is in, but on the other hand, he shares the same struggle that countless other young men and women his age struggle with on a daily basis.  He struggles with alcohol, he admits.  He says that he got caught up with the wrong crowd early on and didn't do much in school.  He jumped schools a few times and ended up dropping out.  Rich, poor and somewhere in the middle families each have their fair share of children that battle addictions but fail to address these issues head on.  I can't be sure of it, but Brian's family appears to have addressed it head on.

Brian is homeless.  He, unlike many of the older individuals who struggle with addictions, talks to his family relatively often.  He stays at the Salvation Army most nights, he tells me, and he has acquired a locker at the Municipal gym as a place to keep his few possessions.  He is very like-able.  He is pretty quiet.  He's a kid.

He should be a senior in college or have just graduated.  But he's not.  He is on the streets.  He made adult decisions while he was still a kid and now, daily, he deals with the consequences.

I think that's what scares me most.  He is 3...4...5 years older than a lot of the kids I work with on a daily basis.  Just thinking about some of the boys we have in our Rock Island group now and comparing tendencies they have to past mistakes Brian has made scares me.

I have hope for Brian.  Honestly, a much greater hope for him than I do for a lot of the older men with his same problem.  Is my increased hope for Brian fair?  Maybe not.  I guess it's his youthfulness (which I get a glimpse of when he plays video games after hours with us).  Maybe it's because every time I am with Brian he is sober.  He is able to suppress, to some extent, his addiction for certain amounts of time.  Maybe it's because I know there is some Biblical/spiritual foundation instilled in him from his family who I met last week.

Maybe it's these things along with my belief in God's power to restore life to brokenness that gives me hope.

"The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy.  I have come that they may have life, and it it to the full" - Jesus

rock island lately

The last several weeks, probably close to a month and a half, we haven't had many consistent "worker-outers". From when school started through the beginning of November we had anywhere between 2-7 kids come each Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday morning to workout, eat breakfast and get a ride to school. But, like I said, since November there hasn't been much turnout in the mornings.

That changed this week. During our meal and worship Sunday night two of the boys asked why we hadn't been doing the workouts lately...uuuuuhhhh, we informed them that we are at Cross and Crown each day of work at 8:00 whether they show up or not. They told us they couldn't handle the three day workout plan and we did what any good youth leader would do... we called them weaklings.

We believe we have devised a reasonable plan that now addresses both physical wellness, mixed in with a little bit of spiritual wellness. Workouts are Monday and Wednesdays followed by cereal and smoothie's for breakfast. Tuesdays we have temporarily deemed, "Pray and Play". From 8:00-8:30 the kids can get on the computers, turn on the t.v. and Ron and I make breakfast. This Tuesday we had sausage, biscuits and fruit juice. After the "play" we shut everything down, head upstairs, grab a seat and observe the "pray" aspect.

In years past we have gone through one of the gospels and observed a lot of what Jesus did during his life on earth but this time around we are focusing more on how to pray. The kids that have been around long enough know that prayer is the core of anything that we do. We are trying to get past the idea that you just pray to give thanks for a meal, prayer for a sick relative, pray that the hot girl at school will say "yes", ect.

When the disciples asked Jesus how to pray this is what He told them (according to our simplified version)...

"This is how you should pray: "Father, may your name be honored. May your Kingdom come soon. 3 Give us our food day by day. 4 And forgive us our sins – just as we forgive those who have sinned against us. And don't let us yield to temptation. " - Luke 11:2-4

We are breaking this prayer down and talking about what each sentence really means, in a practical way. This past week we talked about how we can honor God at school, at home, with our friends, with our families. Each of the kids stated a way they will try to honor God this week.

After, "Pray and Play", (yeah, we know the name is bad, we are open to suggestions) we loaded up and headed to school. Check out the top quote from the ride to school and top pic...

Top quote after one of the boys dropped the "N" word in a conversation...

Ron, "Would Martin Luther King call someone the 'n' word?"

Kid 1, "He's not my daddy."

Kid 2, "He did before he was one of those Christian men."

Fair enough.

Top picture... Cereal and milk in a bag

a hot mess

I learned early in my job that the whole inner-city, working in the heart of the city or the "streets", as many would say, requires you to get dirty, from time to time. The primary focus of what we do at Cross and Crown and Rock Island is based on and through relationship. Anytime you are in relationship with someone and really pour into the relationship, things are bound to get messy. The more time you invest with an individual generally leads to deeper relationship, which results in the letting down of walls and/or being real with each other. Then things just get messy.

Well, let's just say this past Tuesday Israel, one of the Rock Island elementary students, and I really broke down some walls and got real with each other. Or, at least, he got real with me.

About fifteen minutes into a rowdy game of soccer with ten or so boys from the neighborhood, Israel and I found ourselves chasing after the soccer ball into the far corner of the backyard. As we were chasing after the ball I realized a couple things. First, Israel plays soccer on a daily basis and is hispanic (you do the math). Secondly, my team is losing, badly. And lastly, I outweigh Israel by 100 lbs. That's right, I big-body Israel.

So, as Israel stumbles to the ground he puts his hands down in order to brace his fall. Luckily, one of his hands lands securely into a very moist, soft area, which lightens his fall. Not so lucky was the fact that his cushioned fall was because the neighborhood dog had laid a hot one minutes prior to our game. Gripes.

After I got rid of Israel and left him in a poopy mess I carved my way through four or five other little munchkins and scored the winning goal. Not really, but I wanted to. Once I realized the reality of what had happened I helped Israel up, with his clean hand, of course, and I escorted him to the bathroom inside of Rock Island.

As we approached the bathroom door I felt a slap on my back...Uuuuuuuh, surely that was a "good game" slap on the back from one of the other kids who was acknowledging my total dominance of Israel...I turned around only to see Israel smiling ear to ear and asked, "Did you just smear dog poop on my back?".

"No', he said as he whipped into the bathroom.

He lied. He smeared poop on the back of my t-shirt. Awesome. The only good news was that it was approaching closing time so I only had to rock the poop shirt for five or ten more minutes before I could go across to Cross and Crowns' clothing room and change out of my diaper shirt.

See, I told you inner-city work was messy.

When I got home Mackenzie and I debriefed about how each of our days went and I told her she may have had to put up with alot of crap at work today but at least she didn't get crap put on her at work.

those poor, poor people

A few weeks back I was talking with a man who comes regularly to Cross and Crown on Sunday evenings for a meal and the worship. I have known him for a few years but mostly in a superficial, friendly kind of way. He is generally pretty talkative but also a little rough around the edges. As he was eating and we were waiting for the worship to start he began to ask me about myself. He was curious how I was able to be up at Cross and Crown so often. He said it seemed like every time he was up there, I was too. I informed him the reason I seemed to always be around is because... I work at Cross and Crown. Funny how that works, right?

As we continue to chat another man from the neighborhood comes and sits in between us. He isn't eating. He is there strictly for the message he tells us. The first man and I continue our conversation and he begins to ask me about why I decided to work at Cross and Crown, why I would be interested in helping with the youth, why I wouldn't work somewhere else and has gone from a less inquisitive position and into more of a, somewhat, hostile questionaire.

While I experience the Spanish Inquisition with this man the worship begins. I do my best to motion to him that the worship is starting and we need to quiet down but he isn't phased and only tries to talk over the song that has begun. I finally had to tell him we would have to finish the conversation in a few minutes and so he gradually fades out. Just as I had turned to face the front of the sanctuary, where the band was playing, the man who was sitting in between the first man and I said,

"You know why he left, right? He left because the worship started and his spirit couldn't handle being around all the worship taking place."

"Huh?", I hesitantly responded.

He told me, "The man, the man you were talking to. He left because there was something evil in him. I heard him talking to you and trying to talk down to you. Once I heard the way he was talking to you, I started praying. I prayed he wouldn't be able to be handle the Spirit of God if there was something evil in him"

Then I noticed the first man was gone, just as this man was explaining to me. Wow, I thought. I knew when the first man was talking to me there was something that just wasn't right. Like I said, I have talked to him several times but mostly about the weather, sports, family....you know.

At the conclusion of the worship the second man and I talked for several minutes. I asked how many times he has been to the Sunday night meal and worship and he said he had been 3 or 4 times. I offered him a plate of food because he came a little late but he said he comes at that time intentionally because he comes for the "spiritual food" not the "physical food" (his words, not mine). He said he likes coming to Cross and Crown because the preacher (Paul) uses the Word. He teaches from scripture and opens the Bible and doesn't just preach, he said.

I told him about how Cross and Crown is open 4 days a week to the public for food, clothing, medical clinic ect. and Bible study. He said he wasn't in need of much of anything but he was always interested in a little Bible study. I told him when and where and he has been coming ever since.

The reason I tell this story is because we are in a neighborhood that lacks alot of physical things. The neighborhood and many of its' people aren't, for the most part, affluent enough to live without some help in one form or another. But, what this neighborhood doesn't lack is spiritual awareness. Some of the people in this neighborhood are more in tune spiritually and with God than any upper-class, well off individual that I know.

See, our tendency is to think that if you have money, food, clothes or stuff then you are blessed...if you are blessed then you know God, because He is blessing you. So if that's true, then if you don't have money, clothes, food ect, you clearly aren't blessed and therefore you don't know God, otherwise you wouldn't be without.

It's like I heard a speaker say recently, "Just because something or someone is successful doesn't automatically mean God's hand is on it." He was trying to communicate that just because a person is successful doesn't necessarily mean God is blessing that person. Satan has a say about earthly matters that God allows, at times. Just look at Job. My point, just because someone is rich doesn't mean it's always a result of God blessing them. And, just because a person is poor doesn't mean it's because God is not blessing them.

I'll end with something I read recently...

"Jesus, the King of kings, left behind every privilege, every honor, every trace of his glory and consented to be born in a cold, dank stable. He lived off the land, he was homeless, he may not have owned anything more than a change of clothing. If we shun the poor and claim to know Jesus, we are utterly deluded. He, himself, was one of them."

It's pretty incredible how much I have learned from these "poor" people.

Jesus rides in on a what?

Last week, as the staff and volunteers gathered together to ask God's blessing on the day and give direction to where everyone would best be able to help, one of the women from the neighborhood asked if she could stay for the day and help. We said, "No, you need to go home there is no where for you to help." Just kidding. Her name is Martha and she has been coming to Cross and Crown for 5-6 years.

Initially she came for food, now she comes for Bible study and her "Let's Start Talking" class that uses the Bible as the main teaching tool. Ha ha, we got her. Just like ole Jesus did it back in the day...offer food or meet some other monetary need, then present the Good News and see what happens.

Anyway, following Martha's introduction to everyone that had never met her, Paul asked Martha to do her best to describe why she comes and what she does while she is at Cross and Crown. Martha went on to describe, in English, how she comes every Tuesday morning for Bible class and every Monday for LST class. Once she was comfortable, she asked Paul if it would be ok if she shared a story that happened early on in her ESL class with her teacher. Paul agreed and so she began her story.

Martha explained how she and her teacher had been studying in Matthew of Jesus' entrance into Jerusalem. She stressed to us that during this study she was still somewhat new to the English language. The teacher asked Martha to read the story and then do her best to re-tell the happenings back to him. She did and it went a little something like this...

Martha - "The people see Jesus coming and they lay palm branches down on the ground for Him. They worship Him and praise Him. Jesus comes riding in on a monkey."

Teacher - ".............Jesus comes riding in on what?"

Martha - "Jesus comes riding in on a monkey."

Teacher - "A donkey. Jesus rides in on a donkey."

Martha - "Yes, Jesus rides in on a monkey."

Teacher - "No, a donkey. Jesus rides in on a donkey. Donkey."

Everyone had a good laugh, including Martha.

(This picture is the closest thing I could find of Jesus on a monkey. If I remember correctly, isn't that the "thing" from the movie, "The Never Ending Story"?.)

Thanksgiving Thoughts

This past Sunday evening my wife, Mackenzie, had a conversation with one of the Cross and Crown "fathers" that has been coming since day 1. We see him every Sunday for meal and worship, Monday for AA meeting, Tuesday for Bible study and sometimes on Wednesday, just to check in with us.

He is an alcoholic and has been since he was a teenager, having his first alcohol at the age of 12. He grew up in a small Oklahoma town and now lives on the streets of OKC, literally. He has a handful of places he sleeps at on a night to night bases and time to time is able to score the floor of a laundry room when it gets too cold. He is a loner but periodically will buddy up with someone else from the streets, mostly as form of protection and friendship. We have no idea how he is still alive. His body is brittle from the abuse, both physical and substance, he has endured over the years.

He is one of the kindest, most gentle, soft-hearted men I have ever known. He is funny and you can't have a conversation with him without him intentionally jabbing your feet with his cane. Every time he does it he thinks it's the funniest thing ever and he can't contain his laughter, which makes it that much funnier.

Sunday, following our meal and worship, one of his traveling buddies told Mackenzie to be praying for our friend, Steven (it's just easier to tell a story when people have names...so, like it or not, his name is Steven). He went on to tell her that Steven had been taken to the hospital and was experiencing some other issues, which he didn't go on to explain entirely. Based on our history with Steven we assumed he had either been beat up or was sick from dealing with the cold and harsh environment.

After some investigation and asking around Mackenzie discovered that Steven had been taken to the hospital because he had a seizure. He had a seizure because he tried to not drink for a day...

Some of Steven's family, who he doesn't speak to regularly, located and contacted him. He expressed an interest in spending Thanksgiving with them and so they made a deal with him. The deal was this...be sober and come to the family Thanksgiving meal.

His body couldn't handle it. To be honest, I was surprised he tried not to drink for a day. That's how absolutely trapped he is by alcohol. His life is a struggle and his struggle is his life. His body craves it and when he doesn't feed those cravings, his body responds by shutting down.

Needless to say, Mackenzie was heart-broken to hear about Steven and his predicament. The worst part being that she, as well as anyone else that knew about Steven's situation, had very little ability to influence his situation in a positive way. It's one of those scenarios when you say, "Wow, that's sad", and then you can't do anything about it. The good news is that we saw and talked to Steven when he came to Bible study today. He was in good spirits and was back to his regular joking self. I wish I could end the story on a positive note but the bad news is he probably won't be attending the family Thanksgiving, as far as I know. Maybe his family will decide to let him still come, or maybe just to eat, or maybe they will visit him instead of him going to them. I don't know. I guess all I can do is to ask you to consider this story, think about that person you know that may not have a family to spend Thanksgiving with this year and ask them to be apart of yours.

No Place Like Home

Last week the Cross and Crown staff ran our normal schedule Monday and Tuesday but then closed up shop to head to Cincinnati Wednesday through Sunday. We attended the CCDA conference with much anticipation (http://www.ccda.org). Just like two years ago, we weren't disappointed.

I enjoy the CCDA conferences in large part because it is a gathering of people, ministries and Christ followers with similar intentions. Their main focuses are "community development" (that's the "CD" part), social justice and intentional relationships while reclaiming and restoring under-resourced communities.

After going two years ago and being blown away by the speakers and workshops I had high expectations this time around. This year was just as successful. The speakers were great (Shane Claiborne is always intriguing... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4TjXZNeBZ0 ) and the workshops had just as much practical application and ideas for youth that I could ask for. But, the biggest thing I took away from the four day conference was how relational Jesus was while He walked this earth.

One of the workshop teachers said, "No significant learning occurs unless there is significant relationship", and I think Jesus modeled this best. Jesus invested the majority of His time into twelve men, His disciples. It confirmed that no matter what kind, how many, how effective or ineffective the ministries are at Cross and Crown we are to be relationally focused, as Jesus was. The food panty, clothing room, medical clinic, youth activities at Rock Island, optometrist ect. are all hooks. Hooks to get us into relationship with the people in our neighborhood.

It puts a new twist of the scripture in Matthew 28:19-20, which says, "Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age." Disciples. Disciples. Not just believers, but disciples. Jesus had 12. He invested the majority of his time with these 12. I need to do the same. The One who spoke everything into existence choose 12 lives to invest in. I need to be relationally focused and intentional about spending time and energy with a specific few.

If you're ever interested in doing the same, come check us out.